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KIDS
JOKES |
A FEW QUICK CRAZY NAMES
| 1 |
Q: What do you call a woman with a sinking ship on her head?
A: Mandy Lifeboats! |
| 2 |
Q: What do you call a woman with a pint of beer on her head playing
snooker?
A: Beatrix
Potter! |
| 3 |
Q: What do you call a lion with toothache?
A:
Rory! |
| 4 |
Q: What do you call a man with a big truck on his head?
A: Laurie! |
| 5 |
Q: What do you call a man with turf on his head?
A: Pete! |
| 6 |
Q: What do you call the ghost who haunts TV shows?
A: Phantom of the Oprah! |
| 7 |
Q: What kind of illness does
Bruce Lee get?
A: Kung
Flu! |
| 8 |
Q: What do you call a man who doesn't sink?
A:
Bob! |
| 9 |
Q: What do you call a Rodent that has a sword?
A: A Mouseketeer! |
| 10 |
Q: What do you call the bad lion tamer?
A:
Claude Bottom! | |
| OWL AND THE PUSSY CAT
The owl
and the pussycat went to sea, but the end of our story's quite sad.The owl
pushed the pussycat over the edge
`cos her gameboy was driving him mad.
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| THE STRING IN THE TAIL
Two
pieces of string meet one day in the park and while one goes on the slide the
other goes on the swings. They're having a great time until one string decides
to go on the roundabout.
After a while, the string feels really dizzy and
falls off, scraping across the tarmac and making as tangled mess of one end and
falling in a heap. The second string looked at him and sighed "you're not very
good on that roundabout are you?"
The first string looked at himself and said
"I'm a frayed knot". |
| AN IRISHMAN AND THE ENGLISHMAN.....
Once
there was an Irish man an Englishman and an Australian who decided to have a
competition.While on top of the hill each man had to chuck his watch in the air,
then run down the hill and catch it before it hit the ground.
So the
Irishman chucked his watch in the air, ran down the hill and SPLAT the watch hit
the ground.
Then the Englishman chucked his watch in the air, ran down the
hill and SPLAT the watch hit the ground.
Next was the Australian who chucked
his watch in the air, ran down the hill, went and had a beer, did the shopping,
came back and caught his watch.
"How did you do that?" asked the Irishman.
The Australian replied "My watch is 1 hour slow !!!!!" |
THE QUESTIONS FOR INQUIRING MINDS
| 1 |
Q: Why did the King go to
the dentist?
A: To get his teeth
crowned. |
| 2 |
Q: What do you call a three
legged donkey?
A: A
wonkey. |
| 3 |
Q: What happened to the dog
that swallowed a firefly?
A: It barked with de-light!
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| 4 |
Q: Why do birds fly south in
the winter?
A: Because it's too far to
walk. |
| 5 |
Q: why are fish so smart?
A: Because they live
in schools. |
| 6 |
Q: What is black and white,
black and white, black and white?
A: A zebra caught
in a revolving door. |
| 7 |
Q: What do dogs eat at the
cinema?
A: Pup-corn! |
| 8 |
Q: What's a snakes favourite
subject in class?
A:
Hissssstory. |
| 9 |
Q: Why do monkeys have big
noses?
A: Because they've got big
fingers. |
| 10 |
Q: What do you call a
sleeping bull?
A: a bulldozer! | |
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