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 It
was the first time all of us friends were going to a disc. I was in class
VIII and Harsh was my senior. We were introduced by a common friend. We
danced together, exchanged phone numbers and promised to keep in touch.
Our Dussehra vacation was going to start the next day. I was going away
to meet my cousins after a long time. I lost Harsh's number and he went
out of my mind. When I returned to Chandigarh, I got a call from him.
He said he had called many times but nobody had answered. He wanted to
meet me and I said yes.
We met regularly. All my friends, especially the guys, were totally against
him. They felt he was a spoilt, rich, pampered brat, but for me he was
a down-to-earth guy. They felt that he had romantic feelings towards me,
but again I defended him because for me he was just a friend. Things were
going fine till the day he confessed something to me.
I was at my Maths tuition, when I saw him waiting outside. He said he
was very depressed because he loved a girl and he wanted to tell her that.
He wanted me to help him. I asked him who the girl was but he was reluctant
to take her name. He was hesitant and I was losing my temper because I
was getting late for home. When I started shouting at him, he said he
loved the girl who was shouting at him. I was taken aback. From the next
day, I started avoiding him. Once he caught me in the school corridor,
but I told him I needed time to think. I was really worried because it
was affecting our friendship. In the end, I said yes. Gradually, I fell
in love with him. He loved me a lot and cared for me, he could never see
me crying and he never hurt me. He always encouraged me to study if I
did badly in unit tests or exams. He even scolded me if I bunked tuition.
He knew my dream was to become an engineer. He helped me with Maths and
Physics. I was his first priority. When his parents came to know about
us, he went to a friend's place and stayed there for 15 days till his
father agreed to let us be. Once when I met with an accident, he made
a night journey from Jalandhar to Chandigarh.
After a year, he started changing. He became very, very possessive. If
he saw me with a guy he would fight with me. Whenever we went to dance
parties, he would leave me and dance with other girls but if I went and
danced with another guy he would start fighting with me. He even started
dating other girls. When I confronted him he did not deny it but neither
did he stop. This went on for six-seven months; after that he was back
to being himself. Right in the beginning, I had told him that I wouldn't
have a physical relationship with him, and he had agreed to it. He never
forced me, though sometimes he expressed his desire.
I knew his ex-girlfriend was his neighbour but I never felt insecure.
I trusted him-blindly. Even during those six months I never felt insecure
because I trusted him more than I trusted myself. I couldn't imagine life
without him. I could never imagine him betraying me. When a friend asked
Harsh to tell me he loved me on his behalf (that guy didn't know about
us), Harsh was cool about it.
My life changed in 12 hours. The person I loved changed in 12 hours. On
23 May Harsh called me at 10 pm (normally he never called that late).
He sounded very sad and before I could say anything he hung up. I was
worried because he had never behaved like this. I thought he had fought
with his parents. Life came to a halt when I called up the next day to
find out how he was. I got the shock of my life when he said he wanted
to end our relationship. He sounded very serious, strange and cold. When
I broke down he rudely asked me not to 'act'. He was not ready to meet
me and sort things out. After that, I couldn't get him on the phone or
at his place. He went out of town for 15 days. Life had stopped for me,
I couldn't study, I used to cry through the night. He became a stranger
right in front of my eyes.
After some five days my friends forcefully took me to Wimpy for dinner,
and we all were taken aback to see Harsh with his ex-gf! They were about
to leave. I asked him why he was doing this. He told me that he had used
me to get his girl back, his physical desires were not fulfilled with
me, and he had never been committed to me. He accepted that he had been
two-timing. For the first time in my life I slapped someone in public,
that too the person I loved. It affected everything-my life and my career-as
I did very badly in my exams. I learnt a bitter lesson-never to trust
anyone blindly.
Now I live in another city. I haven't been able to either forget or forgive
Harsh. It's better never to have loved than to have loved and lost. For
the past year I've been going around with a guy. My best friend tells
me I shouldn't punish myself for what Harsh did. That I should give it
another try. This guy knows about Harsh. I have made myself strong to
face the worst. But I don't want him to do what Harsh did to me, even
though I'm strong. This guy knows I love him but I don't trust him completely.
I'll be leaving my teens this year, so I wish all you teenagers the best
forever. Excel in whatever you do. But please never ever betray someone
who loves you. Don't play with someone who loves you. Don't destroy someone's
life. Life is very short...
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