I am a 19-year-old guy, studying medicine in Bangalore. I am a nervous and very sensitive guy. I am scared of every small thing in life, from a small insect like a cockroach to people, like my professors.

Also, I am the laziest guy ever born. My parents are busy people, being doctors, and I was brought up (from the time I was seven or eight) by my maternal grandparents who fussed about me a lot. My parents and sometimes my younger brother used to come visiting when I was at my grandparents' house. I used to enjoy my stay there-there were many people my age in the neighbourhood, many friends in school. Also, I could play with my cousins, look after the garden with my grandpa and uncle, and help my grandmother in the kitchen. Even though there were three servants in the house, I did most of the chores in the house.

Then my maternal grandmother fell ill, so I had to come back to my parents' house. My parents and paternal grandparents stay together. I was not at all used to my parents and paternal grandparents or the surroundings. As I am an introvert, I could not make any new friends easily in the neighbourhood either.

Of course, I used to feel sorry that I wasn't with my parents, when I was at my maternal grandparents' place. But I had nothing much to do since my parents were very busy-their practice was picking up and I didn't get to see them at all. My brother is a cool, easygoing guy who doesn't mind all this. Since I had nothing much to do at my parents' place, I used to just eat, sleep and laze around. A year after shifting to my parents' place, I was admitted to a school that was far away from home as it was the only one that had a bus facility. Also, my brother was there and I had to take care of him. I became more of an introvert and it began showing itself more and more, when I moved to the new school. I became extremely lazy.

It was my fault that I did not get good marks in class X-68 percent-I did not work hard. But I did not care about that in class X, for I had things like teenage blues and depression to worry about. I used to do well in subjects like Biology and Chemistry and not so well in others. I wouldn't take part in sports because of the fear that I would lose and this fear continued with studies (I couldn't recollect what I studied, I was scared that I might not remember it.) In PUC, I joined junior college as well as a coaching institute and I took it easy for the first few weeks, without studying, and then the syllabus became a burden for me. I ran away from home (I was 15 then). I returned home, and as soon as I reached near home I acted as if I had fainted, after putting my address in my pocket. Some people found me and took me home somehow. I was taken back with love by my family.

My parents loved me a lot and I used to love my paternal uncles' children a lot. When my youngest uncle had a daughter I used to take care of her. But again in a few months, when I was 16, I ran away from home. When I went back home after a few days, my mother cried a lot and I was gently chided again and again. I was taken to a psychiatrist and given medication. Later that year, we went on a vacation with relatives. This trip introduced me to my second and third cousins whom I vaguely knew earlier and we became close friends. Then soon my PUC got over and I managed to get 70 percent! But I didn't get through EAMCET and Karnataka-CET, so my parents paid more than 20 lakhs in donation and got me admitted in Bangalore.

I studied well for a few months and then I failed in first year and had to take the exams again after six months, which I cleared. Now my second-year exams are looming and I am wasting my time like earlier. My batchmates look as if they are wasting time, too, but they are the first ones to answer any questions put up in class, and get good marks, while I always fail in the internal exams. This time I have to pass the internals, or I won't be able to take the external exams.

I feel lazy, I am unable to concentrate. I am unable to talk with people. Also, a friend of mine played a trick on a girl in my class, because of which I got a very bad rep in my class. Many classmates don't talk with me anymore. I think people think I'm boring because I don't know what to talk about with whom and where.

I think I should have tried to adjust, like my parents and friends were trying to, but I did not. Maybe it wouldn't have been so bad then.