my jealousy killed him

he was 17 and in class XII, a year older than I. We had met through a common friend and in around four months we were going steady. We had been together for almost a year. His parents used to love me and I, them. We used to hang out a lot at this place called Salem. The only thing that used to drive me nuts was the speed with which he used to ride his bike. After lots of arguments he started driving a little slower. Then one not-so-fine day, Veera, the hep new chick in college, entered my paradise. All the guys were going crazy about her being around and maybe my Kevin too, but I didn't think anything of it.

then one day at college, a close friend of mine told me that she had seen Kevin and Veera having dinner together. When I went home, I casually asked him what he had done the day before and he innocently replied 'nothing'. I got really mad and had a huge argument with him. Actually it was one-sided; I didn't let him say a word. The next day I wouldn't accept any of his calls and this went on for three days. I expected him to come up with a crazy, romantic gimmick, as he usually would to say that he was sorry, but nothing like that happened.

it turned out that he had got quite angry with me for not letting him explain, and he left college four days after our fight, riding the bike really fast. No-one really knows how or why, but he collided head-on with a bus, injuring himself seriously. As soon as I heard, I rushed to the hospital he was in. His parents were there, too.
After waiting for about half-an-hour, the doctor came out and started talking to his parents. His mom started weeping. Looking at her, I started weeping too. His father then came to us and told us that Kevin had passed away. He was their only child. I started crying hysterically.

the next day a friend of his told me that Kevin was discussing with Veera what to give me for our one-year anniversary, which was in a week's time. I was responsible for his death! I skipped school that year. I was depressed for over six months. My friends helped me and I have now started attending college, but my life will never be the same, knowing that I was the reason he died. I just want to tell the readers that before you jump to any conclusions about people, hear the other person out. Don't make the mistake I did. You will regret it for the rest of your life.

-Amanda

my girlfriend accused me of stealing

i had just cleared my boards and a lot of people respected me because I had secured 78 percent without any effort. I was a 'dude' then. During one of the nights that I spent at a friend's place, he told me that there was this new babe in class. Until that point of time I had absolutely no feelings for the female sex. I'd just lost a bet and the punishment was to call her and wish her. (It was her birthday on August 10). So I called and said to her, "Hee, hee, I'm the dope from the other section, what's up? By the way, happy birthday." Now she had a faint idea of who I was, so she asked me where I had got her telephone number from.
I said, "I have my own ways." Now whether that impressed her or not I don't know, but after about four or five days I got a call at home. It was Namrata and she said, "I don't know why, but I have this crush on you. What do you think?" I told her that it wasn't easy to answer that question when my parents were around. Now, I could not take the humungous responsibility of having a girlfriend thrust on me. But all the same, I hate making someone unhappy-if I can prevent it. So I accepted her proposal after a lot of persuasion from a very good friend. I'd escort her every day from college to her house and then go home. All was calm till a party came up. She was going, so I had to go too. I was drunk, so while returning, I got kind of carried away and pecked her on the cheek. She was rather astounded that someone as cold as I could actually kiss. Anyway, three days later she returned the kiss. Now that is when I really fell in love with her. I started neglecting my studies and started writing three to four page letters every day. She rarely wrote back.

well, all I can say is that we did get pretty intimate, but well, within limits. Now that is when I started having constant fights at home and started staying away from home. Everyone was worried, including her. We had sworn that we would marry after the both of us got settled in life. This she kept reminding me of, stating that it would not be possible if I kept behaving so insanely. The last straw was when I failed in the 11th standard, not because I'd actually failed, but because my Physics teacher and I had a major fight. This is when my father decided that we should move to Pune, which he thought is quieter and better for studies. When I came to Pune, I'd write to her often and route the letters through a common friend. She would send her replies home. I have no clue how many letters she sent, because my parents don't respect my privacy. But yes, she did send some. She kept encouraging me to study, I never paid heed... but I was still madly in love with her. Suddenly, she sent me a letter saying that I shouldn't have stolen from a couple of friends' places. When I asked my friends, they denied saying anything like that. Again she sent me a letter asking me if I was stealing money. I told her to ask whoever had said that to say it in front of me and the truth would be revealed.

finally, one day, I got an e-mail telling me that she didn't care anymore and that I shouldn't attempt to contact her. I had very little money, so I hitchhiked to Mumbai in a truck. This might sound very filmi, but it's true. When I got there and called her up she just said, "Don't call again, ever." All attempts to get in touch with her after that have been futile. This was when I started taking drugs. I'd keep thinking of when we were together, the times we shared. Very soon my parents came to know and sent me to rehab. I'm very well-settled in life now, but memories of her haunt me. She won't tell me what went wrong, which makes me
feel guilty. I realized that drug dependency would only push me deeper into sorrow. I hope like hell that one day she reads this and forgives me, for what I have no clue, but maybe she dumped me because I had done something wrong. Whatever it is, I feel better now. I've been through two suicide attempts-both futile.

i just want to end by saying that I have realized the true value and meaning of love. I am willing to beg for forgiveness, provided I know what made her take the decision she took.

Amiya, Pune