"Yo there!" I turned around to find no one. But I was going to get the jor ka jhatka dhere se, for out of the blue appeared my conscience with a golden halo over his head. "Looks like you've come out of your crisis pretty well," said he. "Yeaahhh," I responded defensively. By crisis he meant emotional crisis. Just to inform you, I met my conscience for the first time in 1998, when he indeed helped me in recovering from The Shock. To be precise, a mindblowing King Of All Shocks. My class X boards were over and I was not going to see the first love of my life ever again, because our school was a high school-till class X, that is. At that very moment this dear friend with a halo over his head came to my rescue and said something which can be called 'golden words'. He said, "The past is for pessimists, the future is for optimists, so forget the past and live for the future." And here he was, congratulating me on my victory over the sweet memories which were hurting me more than it would hurt your new gf when she finds you smooching your ex-gf. On the note that we would meet again, he vanished into thin air.

When I was in class X, there was this girl who used to bring a 70mm smile to my face, she used to make my BP shoot up and I am sure she too had a soft, cozy, mushy, warm place in her heart for me (Advice-never take things for granted), but I never told her of my love. You know why? I don't really know! She was nice to me, we were good friends, we shared many things including class tests. I had a soft corner for her in my blood-pumping organ. I used to visit her place (her parents didn't mind). I really adored her, she was beautiful as far as I can admire beauty, intelligent, percentage in good 70s and charming. Sometimes I got the right hints from her and if I am not a fool, I did interpret them right. I read in some stupid book, the stupidest line I ever laid my eyes upon, written by some more stupid author-'Love grows with time,' but in my case it submerged below the earth, far below to the Mariana Trench in the Pacific.

We both got admission in different schools, so our bus-stops were different. But I was the victim of cupid's arrow, so I used to walk all the way from my stop to hers, just to meet her or-to be frank-just to gaze at the object of my affection. The turning point in the history of my 16 years of existence arrived when all was going smoothly. One fine day, the queen of gossip, Miss Chapar Chapar, spread the rumour that I was head over heels in love with this girl and the news spread like jungle fire. She, too, came to know of it. Though it was true, I had never thought she would come to know about it this way. There I was-one moment having a candlelight dinner with her, and walking in the clouds and now suddenly, in a flash, my innermost, secret thoughts were known to her and that, too, in a manner which made nonsense of my ambition.

From the next day onwards, whenever I went to see her at the stop she drifted away with the velocity of speed into light from me. Anyway, she started avoiding me and believe me, guys, it's very disheartening when you walk all the way from your stop to hers only to find her at some other stop twenty steps away and she won't even wave her hand to say 'Hi'. Hi means nothing, but sometimes it means everything. I got the message. I decided never to see her or think about her. After all this she would remain the first love of my life. From then on I made a series of changes in my personality and the way I look at life. I found myself to be a new person. I suffered not from frustration, but dejection, and dejection loses its intensity with time. Two years have passed and the intensity has been lost and I thank God for planning it this way.

I have no malice towards her, even when she goes around with other guys, but one thing is for sure-I won't find a girl as nice, as humorous and with as strong a character as she. But it's worth a search. My experience says someone, somewhere is made for me. Now I have quit playing games with my heart, and the moral of the story is: Girls are trouble, keep away from them, that is the secret to live life happily.

Ranvijay, Panchkula

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